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Lived Experiences

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       As a child, we learn and internalize many things that are told to us. We are encouraged to study, encouraged to be on our best behaviour, encouraged to obey and respect older people. Most of the time, a child is perceived to be "good", "naughty", or "bad" based on these factors. So naturally, a child internalizes these statements. "You're such a bad boy. You don't want to study and just want to be lazy.", "Why can't you listen to your teachers? You simply want to give us trouble.", "You did so well in your test. We are so happy." and the likes. If you notice, most of these statements are around the academic performance of the child. At an early age, the child develops an understanding that their self-worth will be maximum when their academic performance is high. This is not done consciously, but over time, as the child grows up and sees that each time they score fewer marks, the people in their environment a

Last Day of the First Sem: Learnings from the Semester that Flew By

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3 months and 21 days. That was the duration of my first semester in Christ. It was a roller coaster, with all its ups and downs, but fortunately, no head-spinning and throwing up took place. As I realized that this semester was done, I thought of listing the many things that this institution, my course, my professors, and my class taught me.  The very, very vast difference between Engineering and Psychology. The transformation from learning about the working of a circuit, to learning about how cognition, behavior, and emotion, affect the human being. (special mention: the unconscious). The difference between sitting in an undergraduate and a postgraduate class.  Making people understand that learning psychology doesn’t translate to “Hey, I can read your mind.” The significance of Sigmund Freud. ETHICS. APA and ACA Code of Ethics is the guiding force. Every time one feels that one is an ethical issues expert, a new case is thrown in one’s face to help understand otherwise.

Week 5 with Compassionate Clowns: The Banana Song

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This week was by far the most fun week we’ve ever had at St. John’s. It started out a little slow for me as I just wasn’t able to connect with any child. Generally for me, connecting with children comes naturally, but this week, it felt the opposite.  As I was walking from one bed to another, I happened to pass by a mother and her child. He was eight months old with a broad smile on his face. I showed him my arms, and he jumped right into them. We walked around the ward, greeting children and the other interns. His smile remained constant. He also started playing by leaping from my hands to his mother’s and back into my arms again. He lifted my spirits.  We then decided to do the Banana Song and the Fruit Salad song before moving onto the next ward. But before we could leave the ward, a few of us were stopped by a three-year-old girl; who spoke only Telugu (which none of us understood), and were given strict orders by her to keep singing the Banana song over and over again! S

Week 4 with Compassionate Clowns

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I always thought of a paediatric ward as a place with only babies, toddlers, and children up to 10 years. It didn’t occur to me that there will be children up to 17 years of age in that ward. That soon changed the first time I went to the paediatric ward at St. John’s, where I spoke to a 17-year-old boy.  This time, I spoke to a 14-year-old girl. She was such a lively and happy girl that she raised the spirits of anyone who talked to her. She was in the hospital for dengue, and thus had missed school for a couple of weeks. She was one of the few children I’ve met, who was waiting to go back to school. English and Mathematics were her favourite subjects, so we started discussing how easy it was to study for an English exam as it didn’t involve any studying. We also bonded over our mutual love of Mathematics and discussed a bit about Highest Common Factor (HCF) and Least Common Multiple (LCM). I was grumbling saying how much I missed learning Mathematics, especially since my curren

Week 3 with Compassionate Clowns

The experience this week was different from last week. The ward was a bit quiet as many of the children were asleep. I went up to a boy as he was about to start a game of snakes and ladders, and asked him if I could join him. He agreed and we ended up playing a fun game with everyone getting eaten by really long snakes and starting right at the bottom.  Next, I met two kids, who made all of laugh so hard. The first one was a boy, who had a smile that was permanently fixed on his face. His smile was so infectious, that I ended up smiling by just looking at him. He spoke Kannada, so I tried conversing with him and his father using what Kannada I knew. I used a lot of sign language, and also slipped in some Malayalam. The thing I loved the most was, all through our conversation the child did not stop smiling for even a second.  The second child was a girl who was really shy in the beginning. She would look at us and smile, but didn’t reply to anything we asked. While I went to t

Week 2 with Compassionate Clowns

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We gathered at St. John’s Medical College on a cloudy Saturday afternoon. All of us got our faces painted with bright colours of red, blue, green and pink. Before we went inside, we formed a gratitude circle and each said one thing which we were grateful for.  I was very excited to be visiting the paediatric ward because I love kids, but the moment I saw the words “PAEDIATRIC WARD” on the hospital wall, I froze for a moment. It suddenly dawned on me that the children we were going to be seeing were kids who were suffering and in pain. That initial shock quickly wore off as I entered the ward. The first child I interacted with was a four year old boy who had cancer. While playing with him, I unintentionally touched his tumour. At that moment I shook a bit as I realised the seriousness of his situation. The fact that a four year old boy, who was running around and playing, was suffering from cancer, broke my heart. It made the situation so real to me.  While playing wi

Compassionate Clowns : Day 1

22nd June 2019 My journey with Compassionate Clowns began a week before today, when I spoke to Harish over the phone and asked him if it was possible to intern with them on Saturdays as part of our community service. After listening to the requirements of our course, he agreed and asked us to meet him today, at his office.  His office is situated in a peaceful and beautiful locality; the kind of place that shows you the true “Garden City” side of Bengaluru. We introduced ourselves, after which Harish told us about himself and how his journey led him to start Compassionate Clowns. He describes Compassionate Clowns as "a bunch of people who love cheering people by playing clowns in hospitals and spreading joy in the lives of others". He then proceeded to tell us what are the different things they do and, to help us understand further, we read a couple of reports written by previous interns. He then asked how many of us are willing to intern at CC and how many wanted to

Letting Go

One of the most difficult things in life is to let go. Letting go of a person, a place, a relationship, a feeling. All that you're left with is a memory. And that memory is what makes letting go so difficult. I feel that letting go of something is more difficult for someone who gets easily attached to things. You form a bond and then you don't want it to change. You fight to hold on. But I guess, one should always remember, that nothing is constant. You are in a certain place today, surrounded by people who you may or may not like. Whatever the situation is, always remember that it will change. So make the best out of every situation. Never miss an opportunity to make a memory. After all, change is the only constant :)

My Father, My Strength :)

Most people have one person in their life whom they look up to. That one person who makes them believe in themselves. That one person who tells them to never lose hope.   For me, that person is my father. To me, Appa was one of a kind. One year before I was born, he was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), which means that his body’s immune system started attacking his joints, thereby causing inflammation. For Appa, it had affected six of his joints; knees, elbows and wrists. He also had a permanent bend in his knees. I don’t remember those initial years much but I do remember that he had undergone some Ayurvedic treatment. I remember sitting and watching as he used to apply oil on his limbs. Even now, if I come across those vapours, it takes me back to my childhood. As I grew older, I got to know from Amma that things were not like how they were then. There was a period, in the beginning, where Appa was on a wheelchair and had to learn to start walking again.  Wh